Let Go and Let it Flow: 5 Lessons in the Midst of Uncertainty

I thought I’d write today to give an update of what’s been going on in my life and to share the beautiful lessons that have come from a time of uncertainty. Throughout my life, I’ve found that difficulty often presents us with the perfect opportunity for growth (though I’d much prefer to learn through joy rather than struggle, but that’s a whole other topic I need to cover soon).

A Short Morning Routine for When You Don’t Feel Motivated

I’m working with a private client right now who struggles with anxiety and depression, and the hardest time of the day for her is in the morning. No matter if her evening was pleasant, she always seems to wake up with a feeling of dread and has a hard time motivating herself to get out of bed to start the day. Often, she lays there and wallows until she has to head to work.

I realized that we needed to incorporate a healthy morning routine into her day. Having something productive and positive to do right when we wake up can be incredibly helpful in breaking us out of old patterns. Our bodies and minds can get stuck in habits, expecting certain things at certain times of the day, but when we can introduce something new and helpful, we can begin to break those automatic responses.

I created a yoga and meditation sequence for her to do immediately upon waking which takes less than five minutes and can be done in bed (super easy!). I thought I’d share it with you all in case you also find mornings difficult and want to bring in some positivity.

Use Your Voice & Speak Your Truth, Even When it’s Hard

I’ve always had a difficult time expressing myself and an even more challenging time standing up for myself. It seems that, growing up, I never really learned how to use my voice, or that my voice was even important and that it’s okay to be heard. So when confrontation arose, I would just stay quiet, even when others were attacking me. It breaks my heart to think about all the times I SHOULD have stood up for myself; all the times I WANTED to say something, but I didn’t quite know how.

Stop Self-Sabotaging and Let the Good Times Roll

I’ve been feeling really great lately. Like really, REALLY great. It’s such a far cry from the incessant anxiety, panic, intrusive thoughts, and depression that flooded me before the wedding earlier this year. Now, I spend whole days without any of those things and I’m getting to see how “normal” people must feel most of the time.

And of course, after days of sweetness and ease, my mind starts to race with, “what if all of that anxiety comes back?” Or even just, “WHEN is it going to come back?” as if I fully expect it to. I’ve also found myself feeling guilty for being so happy when so many others are suffering. I haven’t felt inspired to post about anything other than good, happy stuff on my Instagram, and I wonder if people hate seeing me bounce around all joyful. And of course, there’s always the fear of “jinxing it.”

What My Honeymoon Taught Me About Intrusive Thoughts

If you struggle with anxiety, you’re probably no stranger to intrusive thoughts- the surprising, scary thoughts and images that seem to pop out of nowhere and cause you to dwell on them over and over. I’ve personally dealt with intrusive thoughts ever since my panic attacks began years ago, and sometimes I’ve been able to bat them away quickly while other times it’s been much more challenging not to get lost in the storyline.

When I went on my two-week honeymoon across Europe last month, I noticed that my anxiety was almost nonexistent. I also began to notice that the intrusive thoughts would still happen every now and then, but they wouldn’t stick around and therefore, weren’t an issue at all.

So what was different?

Managing Anxiety During Long-Haul Flights and Overseas Travel

In the past month, I got married, went on a two-week honeymoon, turned 28, and led my first yoga retreat. Talk about a whirlwind! I’m so excited to be back to posting on the blog regularly and I have an exciting announcement to make.

In addition to the weekly Yoga + Mental Health blog posts, I am also launching a Lifestyle section to my blog, where I will share from a much broader range of topics like travel, health, wellness, relationships, and more. As my life continues to grow and evolve, this addition feels like a much more sustainable avenue for me. I’ll probably be posting a lot of travel articles soon due to the honeymoon, so if you’re only interested in the Yoga + Mental Health posts, just ignore the others! 🙂

 

I’m not going to lie, the week leading up to the wedding and honeymoon was a bit challenging for me. All the stress and anticipation had the “what if” thoughts bouncing around my mind like wild. As anyone struggling with anxiety knows, the “what ifs” can take over quickly if we don’t keep them in check. And when we’re experiencing major life changes or taking new steps forward, it’s naturally very uncertain and therefore, scary.

I thought, “What if I don’t make it down the aisle? What if I panic during the ceremony? What if I don’t like being married? What if we get a divorce? What if I panic on the 10 hour flight? What if I get overseas and have a mental breakdown and can’t get home? What if something horrible happens over there?” ON AND ON AND ON…

You Are Not Broken

Hi lovely friends. You might have noticed that I haven’t been posting as often recently. I’m getting married and going on my honeymoon next month, so the past few weeks have been incredibly busy getting ready for the big day! I will post intermittently until after the wedding and then I will go back to weekly blog posts in May. Thanks for hanging in there with me!

These past couple of months, I immersed myself in an intensive Trauma Informed Yoga Therapy training. The program teaches mental health professionals and yoga teachers how to work with those suffering from trauma, ptsd, panic disorder and more. I learned so much and I’d love to share with you a few takeaways I had from the training.

The Bravery of Not Letting Fear Win

I recently got back from a four day trip to Orlando with my sister for a little pre-wedding weekend away. The weeks leading up to the trip, my anxiety flared big time due to outside circumstances and not taking care of myself the way I should have. I was having panicky sensations and to be honest, I wasn’t sure if I could handle this vacation. I imagined every worst case scenario and wondered if I would be okay. I was scared.

But even though having flare ups is a totally normal and expected process, we can never un-learn all the tools we’ve already gathered. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned (and now teach) about how to work with the fear that keeps us trapped and small, it’s that we have to keep pushing forward. We have to keep doing the things that scare us until they don’t scare us anymore.

When You’re Really Hard on Yourself

I’ve spent most of my life being hard on myself. I’ve expected perfection from everything I do or say, and when I’ve fallen short, I often berate myself and drop into shame. When my anxiety turned me nonfunctional years ago, I noticed how awful I made myself feel for feeling awful. I was already experiencing difficulty and I chose to add even more unworthiness on top of that.

But I realized that, when I was kind to myself during a panic attack, the intense fear went away more quickly. When I sent myself love and compassion, the sensations of panic became easier to handle.

The Choice of Peace

To be honest, the past few months have been challenging for me. Outside circumstances keep popping up and throwing me off and recently, something happened with family that caused me to question everything, and spiraled me into my old habits of anxiety and depression. I caught myself gripped in fear with worst-case scenarios and immobile with pessimism that things will never change or get better. I was walking around completely STUCK in my own misery.